i have been going back and forth
with this idea and how to present it....
and how to get others to join in and share their stories....
and potentially how it may really help others....
and then possibly even help heal others.
a few months back i did a post here and posed
this question to my friends who come visit me...
i asked them to share with me
"what they are better for?"
i loved reading the responses and how
open and honest everyone was in sharing.
so today, i want to go first.
i want to share my first experience
of really acknowledging
some yucky things that happened to me and
how years and years later i can finally say
"I'M BETTER FOR IT".
(please bear with me as this is one of my stories and it is me getting pretty personal.)
when i was a young girl growing up
i always wished for and envisioned
myself having this wonderful marriage,
being a mom, living a fun and simple life...
full of laughter and love and
many, many, many years of marital bliss.
i imagined all the good yummy stuff.
but isn't that what we do as children??
plan our fairy tale lives?!?
not once did i ever imagine i would face divorce,
be in a very difficult marriage for many years to an addict,
and have to raise two little girls as a single, working mother.
never once did i imagine going it alone
at 30 years old with a 3 year old and 9 month old
without any family nearby and
an extremely tiny support system (i can count two people).
never once did i envision this storm that lasted
it wasn't in MY plans...
i didn't sign up for this!!!
but that is exactly what did happen in my life.
i did face divorce.
i was in a difficult marriage to an addict.
i was working full time trying to raise two little girls alone.
and i was angry.
i was SO angry.
how dare someone else make choices that
forced me to make choices i never would have
wanted to make in my life.
how dare someone do that to me.
how dare someone shatter my dreams
into a million tiny pieces.
see...i WAS ANGRY!
it took me many, many years and
lots and lots of tears to truly want to face the things
that happened in my life.
the role i played in all of it...
i felt like a failure.
i felt unworthy of love.
i felt LOST.
i felt like i lost me.
so after many years of diverting and distracting myself,
i realized it was time.
it was time to get the help i needed
in order to move forward in my life.
it was time to face some of my demons
so i could be a better mom to my girls.
it was time to start to pick those pieces up
one by one and start to put
my life and myself back together.
it was time for me to deal, in order to heal.
it was time for me to get brave
and now, after working through LOTS of "stuff",
(and it is an ongoing process)...
i am at a place of gratitude for those tough times.
i am at a place where i can
look back on that marriage,
look back on the years of being a single mom,
look back and know...
where i sit right now,
I'M BETTER FOR IT.
I'M BETTER FOR ALL OF IT.
i realized that
WE HAVE TO DEAL...IN ORDER TO HEAL.
in order to be free...
in order to help others...
in order to
BETTER FOR IT!!!
so i am very hopeful that i will find others
who want to be featured here on fridays
and share their stories about
how they have gone
but know that they can say
"I'M BETTER FOR IT."
we all are,
please email me: email@example.com
if you are interested in sharing your story.
i am hoping to run this every friday
for 6 weeks and then see where
it may go from there.
i truly believe there is
SO MUCH POWER
in the sharing of our stories.
in the opening up of ourselves.
thank you for listening.
all my love