Thursday, January 15, 2009


i am so grateful today to be at the beach! it is absolutely gorgeous here and i am counting my blessings considering i have family freezing their aRses off in the midwest. this is probably one of my most favorite places. it inspires me and brings peace. i love watching the people that come here. i often wonder about their lives and if they appreciate our surroundings as much as i do. i wonder if they live here or are visiting. this is my place of resolve and coming back to self. it seems i am able to let go of the stresses of motherhood, wifehood, etc... i can just sit back, take a deep breath and as i love to say "drink it up."

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

13 THINGS i am very new to this whole "blogging" thing...but i am truly enjoying some of the posts that i have read on different sites. it is very refreshing to see how many of us out there want to find our authentic selves and sprinkle goodness all around them! makes me smile!!

so i came across a post "13 things about me" and i wanted to take part in that as well. so here goes...

i am...

a mom of 4
a lover of music
a seeker of truth
a student of life
so in love with my husband
learning how to cook better
italian, polish, swedish & german
a nap taker any chance i get
a lover of books
trying to get more organized
trying to inspire others around me
someone who is totally inspired by music and needs it on nearly all the time
crazy sometimes

i think that's 13 - that was fun!!! give it a try...

after walking away from this for a bit... i decided to add another 13. but this time it is
13 things i am blessed to have or because of...

i am blessed...

to have two amazing daughters and two amazing step children
because i have an inate desire to learn more and more about life
to be in a very loving and safe relationship
for all my crazy girlfriends....they are all different but blend beautifully into my life
to have a pretty good sense of least i think so
to get to be a stay at home mom
to be healthy enough to work out and try to stay in shape
to have been raised in a small town in illinois
to have my sisters and brother
to have great friends within walking distance of my home
my parents are still married and seem to still be in love
to have met some amazing, beautiful souls simply in passing but am wise to appreciate it
to have loved and to have lost

Saturday, January 10, 2009


I went to the beach yesterday and just enjoyed an afternoon of solitude, great music and painting. As I was sitting on our deck I realized just how difficult it is sometimes to find our authentic selves. Sometimes I think we find our authentic selves many times in a lifetime. It is ebs with the chapters from our develops with maturity and wisdom and of course...age! When I look back on my life I see bits and pieces of my authentic self peaking out through different relationships and different life experiences. I think the key is to find those authenticities that withstand time and change and bumps in the paths of our lives. Those pieces of who we are that truly stick...stick through the good, stick through the bad, stick through the icky, stick through the painful, stick through the elations, etc... ,etc... I love having a desire to know myself better and to understand what it is that truly makes me happy and how I can reach out to others in that sense. I love knowing if I was able to inspire someone just a tad or give a good piece of advice when someone is in need. I know I am at a place in my life that I am seeking out my authentic self...striving to find my authentic self. Anyone else out there on my same page??

Tuesday, January 6, 2009


How do the lyrics go to that great Coldplay song....Am i part of the cure or am I part of the disease?? I don't know about anyone else, but i certainly hope that I am part of the cure. I found myself thinking about all kinds of ways today that I can help the cure and not hurt it. There is so much we can do to make things better on a day to day basis. I think first and foremost is our attitude and the face we choose to put on each morning before we even climb out from under the covers and up to face the daylight. We should try our best to put on that face that says "this is my day to do with what i will...I can either live it to the fullest in a positive light or not." It's actually that simple. Even though (at least for me) it doesn't always feel that way. It seems alot more gray than that - not so black and white. I feel currents of change happening within me that I haven't felt before. It is strange and I am not sure what to make of it. I am starting to feel tugs to attempt certain things in my life that I wouldn't have dreamt of attempting before. I feel a pull to express myself creatively and branch out more to those souls who are in search and have a desire to authentically surrender to life and to simply be a part of the cure. I certainly hope I am getting better in that as I feel these changes occurring within me. I hope there are more that feel these currents in their life to live a better life and to do more for others and the environments around them.

Sunday, January 4, 2009


I don't know about anyone else...but I have learned in my 36 years that music is my true therapy. Have you ever noticed how you can be down and out and then turn on one of your favorite songs and your mood instantly will shift?? It is amazing to me what music can do for the soul. I probably drive my husband and kids crazy with the fact that I have music on nearly 24-7...or at least during my waking hours! I go through phases of the type of music I listen to...but find that I am pretty versatile. I am very grateful that Kings of Leon are finally getting the credit they deserve. They are one of my favorites and I am highly addicted to their album "Only By The Night". It's a great listen - there is not one bad song on there so there will be no need to skip from track to track!

Friday, January 2, 2009


The people's lives you cross for a reason.
Learn from each encounter...some are much more significant than others...take a nugget. It may be EXACTLY what you need at EXACTLY the right moment in your life. And ONLY in that moment will you appreciate that particular encounter. If at another loses its significance.
I have had many of those moments. Those moments when I heard just what I needed to hear at that particular time in my life. It's amazing how that can happen when we are open for it.
People are so diverse; so unique - like each grain of sand...different. We all have something to add, something to say, some experience to expound upon.
Listen to those around never know what you may hear. God is don't know who He may be speaking through.
Discern & learn.


That is the question?!?! I guess I feel like if you need a time to wait for a certain time to set goals for yourself that is kinda silly. I think we should always be striving to do better, to be better. It should be a daily conscience. I know for me I try to be aware daily on becoming better or trying to handle a situation differently. Life is a lesson every single day to be learned...or i guess for some not to be learned. I know for me I am trying to live a more authentic life. I'm trying to figure out what makes me tick and what my passions are. Sometimes life really can get in the way of that because we all have responsibilities that should take precedence. So no resolutions for me per say since I am going to try to live with resolutions on a daily basis and they may change from day to day.

Thursday, January 1, 2009


Today is my grandma's birthday even though she is no longer with us - I still feel the need to express my birthday wishes to her. She was an amazing soul who I was lucky enough to call "Grandma"! She truly is one of my heroes. She is one of those rare women who touch lives in such a delicate is so simply done by her. She never speaks a harsh word about anyone which I think can be a pretty tough thing to manage at times! I aim to be more like her and hope I am making her proud. She's one of my heroes and I didn't tell her that when I had a chance because I think I may have been too young or maybe too timid to say so. So my advice today is to express to others how you feel....let them know the goodness they sprinkle onto your lives.