i'm better for it Friday...GLORIA'S STORY

happy friday my friends.
i am so honored to share my 
dear friend Gloria's story...
it touched me on so many levels
and taught me priceless lessons.
i know i am better for reading 
this beautiful, beautiful story.


So here is Gloria's Truth...
her words, her pictures, her "IM BETTER FOR IT".
************************
Ok...  I was born to a young mother and father 

who I don't think was ready to be a dad, 

or maybe better than that he had a terrible dad himself. 

I see pictures of my father when he was a young boy 

and can clearly see the sadness in his eyes.

( i am better for being able to recognize that)

I am going to share one of my best 

childhood memories of my father. 

We were hanging out by the basketball court 

and I am in this little pink plastic car. 

He gives his friend a quarter and he pulls me 

around the court and when my sees me coming around 

he lights up. 

I was about 3 or 4. 

It was beautiful I had my daddy very present with me 

and because its one of the few memories 

I have of him and I remember it well.

 I know my dad went away for a while after that 

because i don't believe I saw him for a long time.

He would show up once in a while when he was able. 

He dealt with this addiction that 

had a really strong hold of him. 

He was not able to really keep it together 

long enough to be a dad. 

Let me say that when he did show up, 

all I saw was my happy dad. 

I am so glad that he showed up 

even if it was only for a little while .

 ( This taught me to have a grateful heart )

I also remember sitting in his VW Van, 

it was purple with tan interior. 

He played his guitar and sang to me. 

I felt so proud that my dad had such a beautiful voice 

and so much talent. 

What I remember the most about that moment 

was how much passion and heart he had when he sang to me. 

I grew up believing that stair way to heaven was written for me. 

( I love that )

  My dad was an amazing musician. 

He was a talented poet. 

He had a heart of gold. 

My grandmother would tell me ...

"Your dad wouldn't kill a fly if his life depended on it."

He was a sweet man. 

I know he was not around much but I didn't care. 

I adored what I got when I got it.

Much of my childhood was spent waiting,

I don't mean waiting in a sad way, or a bad way...

It was more waiting in anticipation for 

this amazing man that was my dad to call.  

I know he did some time in jail 

because my grandmother would tell me...

"OK we are going to go visit your dad 

he is in grown man school where 

everyone wears orange jumpers." 

I believed that too until I grew up, 

but it was great visiting him. 

He was never sad around me. 

It was all about his skinny little girl.

So, where does the I am better for it come in...

What I learned from not having it all...

Is that I needed to learn keep my heart OPEN. 

When I did not have resentment towards my father 

or bad feelings, everything I received from him 

was this amazing gift. 

I would tell myself...

I know he is going to leave soon when he arrived to see me. 

Then I would say to myself, I want to make how ever 

much time I get with him equal double.

Then I would be really present. 

I would look at the weather and remember is it sunny or not. 

Then I would look at my dad. 

What is he wearing, 

how long is his hair, 

I would look at his smile.

 I would take it all in. 

( I ever really got more than a day with him) 

so maybe that helped. 

I let go of what I thought I should get and 

learned to love what I got. 

I never expected anything so everything I got was a bonus.

I am really better for this experience.... 

My childhood was very colorful. 

I think what I learned was how to take a situations 

and find the beauty in it by taking my expectations out. 

He taught me to love that moment. 

I don't think I have ever felt sorry for myself 

in regard to not having a dad because 

of the attitude I somehow taught myself to have.

That was Love... what you are handed now. 

Love him completely so when he leaves 

you can still hold on to that moment. 

My heart is full of Love for this man and 

I am clearly better for it. 

As timing would have a couple days ago 

I found this letter that my dad wrote to me the day he died. 

I don't remember seeing this letter before this week. 

To my little Daughter,

My Darling Gloria, 

sorry I let you down as your father 

you never let me down as my daughter - Please be happy for me. 

I want you to always be that way all your life- 

When we meet again I will make it up to you 

what I should have done for you but I didn't 

know how to when I was in the physical body-

I am sorry my baby, little thing. 

You will always be mine remember that. 

So take good care of your family for grandpa now. 

Oh my baby girl I love you so you'll never know, 

say hello to them all for me everyday. ok  

Daughter remember I will always be there 

Always your dad

Pancho

2-26-98

I am better for it...

because i learned to keep my heart open to love,

with out passing judgement....




thank you my gor-juss friend!
thank YOU.
to get to know Gloria better and 
read more of her lovely views on life...
go HERE!


if you have a story to share, please email me:
kolleenharrison@mail.com
OUR STORIES MATTER!!!