HAPPY FRIDAY everyone!
Today I am so happy to share with you my
dear friend Kelly's "I'm Better For It" story.
I truly appreciate her sharing her story
as I feel there is power when we are
courageous enough to share our stories!
Here is Kelly's story...
Her words, Her Journey, Her "I'm Better For It"
When I was growing up I thought
I was just a normal kid.
I was sensitive to the energy around me
even at a young age,
but when you're
little you don't even think about
anything but the here and now.
You don't think you could possibly be "different"...
Well as I grew older I began to notice a
feeling of fear in my life...
but still I was young, and I just thought everyone felt that way.
The older I got, the more I began to notice
that these feelings were
not what everyone else was feeling.
The older I got, the more I realized
that I was indeed different, and not in a good way.
By the time I was in high school,
my daily goal was to get through each day
without a panic attack, or at least one that
no one else noticed.
It became exhausting.
Each day began to be a challenge for me. My moods would depend on the "success" of that particular day.
If I got through without a panic attack,
well then that was a successful day and I would be happy. But if panic took over,
I would tailspin into depression for the next week or so.
It was no way to live life.
I started college after high school.
I had no real plan, as panic had
taken over any planning for me.
I enrolled into all the art classes I
could possibly fit into my schedule.
Those were the classes that gave
Those were the classes that I felt I could actually
participate in without a panic attack.
Then, two years into my college experience,
I had a panic attack during one of the first days of class.
I was so humiliated and tired that I said that's it...
I can't do this anymore.
Well from there my life just sort of spiraled out of control.
Anxiety had a firm hold on me and wasn't letting up
I was ashamed and embarrassed.
I had no one to turn to for help.
I didn't want anyone to know what a freak.
Well each day became a huge struggle and pretty soon I
just couldn't keep up the pace.
It was so exhausting living this double life.
Trying so hard to be "normal".
Living each day at the mercy of anxiety and panic.
It was awful. I finally hit a low, and I
tried to end my life.
I just couldn't live with this any longer. But
my efforts didn't work the way I had hoped.
Perhaps it was just a desperate cry for help.
Perhaps there was a guardian angel holding my
hand, and knowing that I had much more
life to live than I could possibly realize.
What ever the real reasons are I will never know.
But I will always be thankful.
I learned to struggle with my secret for years more.
They weren't easy, but I did my very best.
I fell in love and found a rock in my husband.
He helped me to realize that my problem was not my fault.
There should be no shame.
That I deserve good medical help,
just like anyone suffering from a medical problem.
He put my heart at ease
and I thank God for him coming into my life.
Well it is years later now...
two kids, and a beautiful life later.
I am here and I am happy.
I am growing with new experiences and love.
I no longer have to live in my "protective mode" and I am making up for lost time baby!
It has been a very long, difficult road for me.
I am finally in a good, safe, health place
and I do believe I am better for it.
I feel sympathy and empathy for
others in this world. I believe that no matter
what we see on the outside,
everyone has something difficult
they are dealing with.
God loves us.
Each and every one of us deserves happiness.
My experience has made me
appreciate the wonderful moments of life
with such sweetness-I don't
know if everyone feels it as sweet as I do.
I'm thankful for that.
I'M BETTER FOR IT.
thank you my friend for your story.
you can visit Kelly here
and see her amazing art and learn more about her.
if you are interested in sharing YOUR story...
please email me: firstname.lastname@example.org
happy weekend friend!!