Friday, December 10, 2010


HAPPY FRIDAY everyone!

Today I am so happy to share with you my 
dear friend Kelly's "I'm Better For It" story.  

I truly appreciate her sharing her story 
as I feel there is power when we are 
courageous enough to share our stories!

Here is Kelly's story...
Her words, Her Journey, Her "I'm Better For It"

When I was growing up I thought 
I was just a normal kid.  
I was sensitive to the energy around me 
even at a young age, 
but when you're
little you don't even think about 
anything but the here and now.  

You don't think you could possibly be "different"...

Well as I grew older I began to notice a 
feeling of fear in my life...
but still I was young, and I just thought everyone felt that way.
The older I got, the more I began to notice 
that these feelings were
not what everyone else was feeling.  
The older I got, the more I realized
 that I was indeed different, and not in a good way.  
By the time I was in high school,
 my daily goal was to get through each day
without a panic attack, or at least one that 
no one else noticed.  
It became exhausting.

Each day began to be a challenge for me.  My moods would depend on the "success" of that particular day.
 If I got through without a panic attack,
 well then that was a successful day and I would be happy.  But if panic took over,
 I would tailspin into depression for the next week or so.
 It was no way to live life.
I started college after high school.  
I had no real plan, as panic had
taken over any planning for me.  
I enrolled into all the art classes I
could possibly fit into my schedule.  
Those were the classes that gave
me peace.  
Those were the classes that I felt I could actually
participate in without a panic attack.  
Then, two years into my college experience,
 I had a panic attack during one of the first days of class.
 I was so humiliated and tired that I said that's it...
I'm done.
I can't do this anymore.  

Well from there my life just sort of spiraled out of control.
  Anxiety had a firm hold on me and wasn't letting up 
 anytime soon.  
I was ashamed and embarrassed.    
I had no one to turn to for help.
  I didn't want anyone to know what a freak.
  Well each day became a huge struggle and pretty soon I
just couldn't keep up the pace.  
It was so exhausting living this double life.
  Trying so hard to be "normal".  
Living each day at the mercy of anxiety and panic.
  It was awful.  I finally hit a low, and I
tried to end my life.  
I just couldn't live with this any longer.  But
my efforts didn't work the way I had hoped.  
Perhaps it was just a desperate cry for help.
   Perhaps there was a guardian angel holding my
hand, and knowing that I had much more 
life to live than I could possibly realize.
  What ever the real reasons are I will never know.
But I will always be thankful.

I learned to struggle with my secret for years more.  
They weren't easy, but I did my very best.
  I fell in love and found a rock in my husband.
 He helped me to realize that my problem was not my fault.
There should be no shame.  
That I deserve good medical help,
just like anyone suffering from a medical problem.  
He put my heart at ease
 and I thank God for him coming into my life.
Well it is years later now...
two kids, and a beautiful life later.  
I am here and I am happy.  

I am growing with new experiences and love.
I no longer have to live in my "protective mode" and I am making up for lost time baby!

It has been a very long, difficult road for me.  
I am finally in a good, safe, health place
 and I do believe I am better for it.  
I feel sympathy and empathy for
 others in this world.  I believe that no matter
 what we see on the outside, 
everyone has something difficult
they are dealing with.  
Kindness matters.  
God loves us.  
Each and every one of us deserves happiness. 
My experience has made me
appreciate the wonderful moments of life 
with such sweetness-I don't
know if everyone feels it as sweet as I do.  
I'm thankful for that.

thank you my friend for your story.
you can visit Kelly here
and see her amazing art and learn more about her.

if you are interested in sharing YOUR story...
please email me:

thank you.
happy weekend friend!!


  1. this is so so beautiful.. kelly is so so beautiful.. love her words.. Kelly, u are a brave soul and a beautiful person. I loved you fr the moment we met.. u hv such a kindness and sweet spirit around you... u honestly do. I love you xo Thks Kolleen for posting! hugs xo Come visit my blog sometime girls! Love you both xo

  2. Kelly, thank you for sharing your story! I am so happy, an angel saved you and you found your way!

    You have endured so much; I am glad you were brave to share your story! I started having panic attacks a few years, ago. I don't know your anxiety, but I do have a clue. It paralyzes us!

    Kolleen thank you for bringing Kelly's story to light! She is a dazzling, wonderful soul~xXx

  3. thank you kelly for sharing your story. it is so important that we share our stories. you are such a brave soul for sharing this with us all. We are so blessed that and angel found you and breathed new life into you. Now are able to watch you shine and spread your wings.

    Thank you kolleen for giving people the opportunity to share their stories. you are an angel my dear. I adore you.


  4. thank for for sharing your story, kelly. while i read this, one word kept coming up for me about you. the word is GRACE.

  5. love to read the stories of survivors. thanks for sharing.

  6. oh kolleen...i can see how you looove kelly!
    & kelly, i have teared up reading your story! sooo painful early on/& then so powerfully healing w/love later on & now. i would hug you if i could!!! & celebrate w/you...i imagine now taking out sparkly paper & scissors & collaging a sun princess who loves & watches over you. i have never thought of one before this moment but here she is, from me to you with love. xox

  7. Dear Kelly,
    I think you have described how angels are made.
    You have walked through a dark place and now you bring light to others. You are a beautiful girl with a kind heart. I am so happy to read that you found your rock, (in your sweet husband) and solice in your art. Thank you for sharing your story. love you xo Darcy

  8. Dear Kolleen,

    Thank you so much for your "I am better for it" posts! What a wonderfully sweet way for us to get to know each other's hearts and history. I can see the deep loving sensitive heart that Kelly has in her art.....And now I know in- part where that comes from. Of course she would be a painter of angels...
    I am better for dear sisters like you two!!


  9. Such a beautiful story from such a beautiful woman! Love you both!!

  10. Such a brave and beautiful Soul Kelly, thank you for sharing your story, that is a very brave step to take. Kolleen - bless you for bringing these stories to your blog and to us. xx

  11. Reading all of these posts makes me cry. Thank you everyone for your kind words. It is strange to take something that you once hid from the world in shame, and put it out there...and then recieve so much love. It is the most healing and warm feeling in my heart. Thank you for that gift. xo
    Thank you Kolleen for giving me this safe place to share...I know you are my Angel. I'm so thankful that God brought you to me. I love you sister.

  12. As Darcy said above, that seems a good description of an angel: someone who walks through a dark place and brings light to others. I am so glad you found your husband and your way through.

  13. Kelly thank you for sharing this story. It really spoke to me as I too have suffered from panic attacks. They began later in life for me but they can be quite debilitating.

    What strength it you have to share these words with the world.

    Sending you a big hug! :)


    Thank you Kolleen for doing this FOR us! You are such a true Godsend and I honestly do not know what I would do without you in my life!


  15. Well, not sure what I can add to all that has already been said.... except I LOVE everything about this... the words, the pictures, the sharing, the support, the whole idea... but most of all my sweet friend Kolleen and my new friend Kelly!!!

  16. What a touching and inspiring story. I'm amazed at Kelly's strength throughout her life -- the fact that she managed to be so successful despite the challenges she was facing. It seems that so many people just make excuses these days, but Kelly is an example of someone who did not. It is unfortunate that there wasn't someone there for her earlier in her life to help her through her disorder, but it is a testament to her intelligence, strength, and courage that she persevered, even when she was struggling the most.

  17. Amazing and touching story dear Kolleen! She's a true talented artist and a beautiful person. Thanks for sharing this inspiring story with us dear.
    Boho Market Blog

  18. Kelly, you really are just incredible to me. I love being around you so's wild because you are the epitome of calm and warm..I would never have known what's you've been through.

    I am so thankful to know you and have you in my tribe of women I love so much. Thanks for featuring this, Kolleen. love you amazing amounts too.

    okay...exhale. i am a BIG believer that things come into our lives when they are suppose to and today was a VERY GOOD DAY to read our beautiful KELLY.s story.
    kelly...I LOVE YOU TO DEATH. you are SO amazing and i am so grateful that you are in my circle of SISTERS!

    thank you kolleen for these are on to something sister.
    i love you both.

  20. Thank you friends, old and new, for your comments-you truely warm my heart!
    Love, Kelly

  21. I truly understand Kelly, and my heart is filled with so much joy with the love and acceptance you now have in your life. Your art is amazing...

    Much love and light.



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