Wednesday, June 1, 2011

say whaaaaaaaat wednesday???



i am sensing that something is in the air....
something many of us are struggling with.

i have had a few conversations with friends 
regarding these same topics and it certainly helps me 
to know that i am not alone in the 
feelings i have been experiencing on and off 
in my couple of years of blogging and creating
and facebooking...

the feelings of inadequacy.  
the feelings of "i'm not good enough".  
the feelings of "who do i think i am?"  
the feelings of "look at what she is doing...
why didn't i think of that?"  
the feelings of "how do i find balance to create and 
be a good mom and a good wife, etc...??
  the feelings of "why does the grass always seem to be 
greener on the other side?"  

the feelings of "what is really real in the blogosphere/online?"
and just "how real" should we get when we blog?

my friend Lara did a post today that really hit home for me.  
She touches on many of these subjects and 
I truly admire her view point on it.
loved this in particular...Lara said 

"The “not knowing we’re alone” part seems to come only when you seek it out, at least for me. I guess those people who crack open have always been a porch light and I flap like a moth around it to feel some sort of comfort that..you know..these things take time."


So today i am asking all of you...

how do we focus on the fact that the grass 
isn't necessarily greener elsewhere...
but instead is greener where we water it?  

how do we stop comparing and start owning
 our authentic "good enough" selves???

how do we have the guts to show the ugly in our
lives too on our blogs...without sounding
like we want a pity party thrown in our honor??

i would love you to weigh in on this...
as it is something i believe we all can relate to.
thank you.

ox
kolleen

16 comments:

  1. you are enough.
    and i love you.

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  2. it's funny how we look at others and think they have the "good" life as they look at us and think that about us.
    I guess we just have to make the most of what we got and the least of what we've not. I have to remind myself of that ALOT!
    You dear, are more than enough. Don't ever doubt it, EVER!

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  3. I think the truth is that people have a misconception of those that are doing....they don't have it all together...they are just doing! That is it. Same struggles, hard days, tired, lack of balance, messy house....just doing in the midst of it. You are "doing"....don't worry about what others are doing:-)

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  4. I read Laras blog this morning and thought it was so great too! You're questions are right on sister! We are only human...and unfortunately that seems to mean that we sometimes compare ourselves to others, even though we know better.
    When I see all of you Mothers of young kids, doing, doing, doing...I am just in awe! When my kids were young, I didnt really do any of "my" artwork. Then when they were in school, I branched out a little bit and did some art work and even some of the school bazzaars....but there wasn't blogging back then, and If there was I'm sure I'd feel like a failure on most days! ...you girls amaze me!
    I guess we need to remember that the whole "art thing" is a journey. And we are on the journey and our time will come. In the mean time we just need to remember that we are exactly where we are supposed to be and to keep learning and growning. Our time will come...We are enough!
    I love you sweet Kolleen-keep on pushing through this wonderful journey that we are on!

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  5. Kolleen. You are stunning in so many ways. You are one of my "look at her, she is amazing, I wish I could be more like her" people :)

    Yeah, it's an issue. I struggle with it sometimes so I just try and be honest. There are things I don't share of course but I just try and be me and let that be enough.

    We are ALL enough.

    Loving today's picture. You are gorgeous.

    Love you!

    PS LOVING my cd!

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  6. Hey Kolleen.. I am so happy have met you here in the blogoshpere and instagram. I had followed you originally from Kelly B and Jennifer B. I love the way you express yourself. I have had this same struggle lately with how to find my place out here and what is really REAL. I can't sugar coat things, never could, so my blog is all about how I feel when I write that day, if I feel I am a downer I may just stop writing but I don't try to pretend. I am looking for the balance also. It can be hard when you look around in that comparing mode, I do it all the time. Especially when I see all the pics of people connecting at retreats and knowing my fears of flying keep me a bit localized, I feel like I am missing out. But I am working on things slowly finding my path in it all. I just try to stay true and back away a bit for a bit when I get lost out here.

    big hugs to you.
    Karen D

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  7. sorry for all the typos it is late here ;-)

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  8. It's I think that we all feel that way sometimes.
    I've thought many times, "If I can't paint like so and so am I really an artist?" It would be boring if we all did the same things though. We all have something unique and special to offer. We have to daily remind ourselves that the grass is never greener. As far as blogging goes: I try to share as honestly as I can. There are always some things I keep to myself. Shine the light you've been given as brightly as you can heartwing sister...
    xoJenny

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  9. I Kolleen, thanks for having the discussion. I just posted a bit about this here http://anangelinthegarden.blogspot.com/2011/05/peering-through-fence.html ...just incase you find something useful amongst it all. I find myself continually drawn to the authentic & seem to relate to people who are being real in the midst of all the showing & telling & creating. I've been blogging for about 18 months now & I realize that I no longer feel alone very often, yet nothing has changed around me..no new friends popped up down the road. Just gently being amongst woman sharing their lives has been so good for me. It's helped me define my values better & changed my kids lives too as they see these things shaping me as a person. I'm starting to feel that the world is in fact a good place thanks to people like you that have shared so well & encouraged others in genuine & loving ways. Much love Catherine x

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  10. ugh!
    This is something I have REALLY struggled with. So much, that I don't even really feel comfortable yet blogging/writing about it cause it stirs up so much tear fodder. I'm with Kelly - when my kids were little {and I'm talking up until middle school} I did none of this ... in fact, Jules was almost 12 when my first article was published. Even then, I sacrificed to put them first ... to the point where another artist published and taught MY signature technique after I taught her how to do it. Talk about wanting to kick yourself all the way home! I still really struggle with how much of my REAL life to write about online because so much of the story belongs to Larry, and my kids and not really me. I like writing the happier stuff ... making the happier art ... the serious stuff threatens to overturn my apple cart every time. It doesn't mean that my life is any better ... that publishing, teaching or writing come any easier for me ... it just sometimes appears that way because you are only getting part of my story ... getting to peek into part of my life. But I also kind of like that some of the real me is saved for my real friends ... helps them to know our friendship is real.

    I think sharing is a really fine line to walk - especially when our oversharing can sometimes be turned against us by those we thought were friends .. only to discover they were merely online acquaintances out for a little piece of us for themselves.

    I really love that we are all talking about this, and want to write about it more on my blog tomorrow. For now I'm going to get off the computer, and go try to call you cause I like talking about this ear to ear better :)
    mwah!
    xox
    me

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  11. love you so much....
    The whole grass is greener on the other side is something I know I have struggled with. I have found in my own life I just gotta stop looking over the fence so much. If I spend to much time with my glasses on peeking over the "fence" I come away totally blinded when it comes time to look at my own blessings. Also, I have found that "those" glasses only allow me to judge my very "worst" compared to "others" oh so beautiful best.... Guess what? I can NEVER come even close to winning that one. My garden looks like weeds compared to their lovely flower filled yard... I love what you said about watering your own grass. Being a gardener I can totally relate..... Now if I can only remember that when I am feeling like no one is listening or that feeling of being invisible.... As for what to or what not to share on a blog... I am pretty much on the bottom of the blog food chain so I really have no advice... I only know that the blogs I come back to are the blogs that I feel a relationship with... And truth and honesty is definitely a big part of that. How honored to have you in my life and how I love your blog sweet friebs.

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  12. I notice that when I feel at home in myself, I am less likely to compare. The times are few but sweet. :) If I meditate and stay off the computer until noon, the day goes much better. Not that I am good at doing that though.

    And you are enough. Always. xoxoxo

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  13. Oohhh...good questions! I loved Lara's post. And I loved the one that she referenced (by Susannah Conway) as well. Good stuff. It's really hard to sort all this out sometimes. I've been feeling the same thing. I entered this blog world to help motivate myself to pursue the creative life..and to be inspired by others. And it's been great. But at times I also feel a great sense that I "can't keep up!" to everyone. Or I feel jealous of people doing things, going places. At times like those I think it's wise to just take a break. Shut down the computer and just be. Cross things off the list. Breathe. Centre yourself. Get back to you. Be still and know. But it's easier said than done.

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  14. Thanks for sharing your thoughts in this post! I feel much the same way at times, as I navigate the blogosphere, particularly as a newcomer in terms of blogging AND a novice artist. It's nice to know others have these feelings, too, at times!

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  15. Hello lovie! I have been visiting my favorite blogs and this issue IS coming up a lot. We all must have it. That is comforting. Much love to you, missing you!

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  16. You have really touched something in me on this topic. I have recently started blogging and still trying to find my feet but want to remain as real and truthful to myself, my craft and my process as possible without overexposing myself but my craft is my life and cannot one without the other. We live and learn and knowing we are not alone within this process is comfort enough for me.

    Chelsea
    London

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