I'm Better For It Friday...Kate's Story

HAPPY FRIDAY FRIENDS!

Today, the lovely Kate has courageously

stepped forward to share her story with us.

(and wow!  is it inspiring!!!)

Thank you Kate...

Her Story, Her Words,

Her "I'm Better For It."

How Did I Get Here...?  

Stop...Rewind.

Forever 27

[A story of new life]

27 years go by

Allowing layer after defining layer 

to creep in and solidify...

I AM :

"A taurus", "mid-twenty-something", "a nurse", "independent" and  "self-sufficient", "hard working” “dependable", "healthy", "organized" and “very, very busy”.

[All serving a very specific purpose in their own limiting way]

Daily rhythms, marching to the background beat of the sound track of a life, playing on loop in an empire that had taken 27 years to build. 

[Focused and unsuspecting in my safe, heavy trodden path]

Safe.   

Until Tuesday, June 8, 2010, 5pm. I AM ‘blind-sided’ at the driver’s side door.  

Inattentive to life in the present, I positioned myself perfectly as the bulls-eye.

[A-ha! The one thing I couldn't have planned for...] 

For an instant soul ripped from body, quickly reconsidered, 

and stuffed back in again. 

‘I’ wriggled  free from the wreckage of air bags, crumpled aluminum, 

and all definition of life as I had known it.

A few blows to the (left side) of a 'hard head', 

later to be diagnosed as a traumatic brain injury, 

suppressing reason, thoughts, language, learning and memory…

["Cracked open" would be, to state it quite accurately]

cracked open, yet preserved

held together by a nervous system of  frayed live wires

Jolts like electric shocks shake me... "wake up", "wake up"

As a daily reminder: it's time to rise up, time to move higher

  Days passed by, turned to weeks and then months. 

the old 'me' slips away as new versions take it’s once established place.

I have become the silent witness of the buzz that I too had known as life,

as it marches on by, day by day, without skipping a beat. 

[As it turns out, life does go on: whether you meet your deadlines or not…]

Stripped of all previous definitions of ‘myself’, 

I am left in the quiet, to sit (and get friendly) with myself, emptiness, loneliness & space.

S  p  a  c  e

What is left when you’re shaken free of all that you've grasped to fill yourself up,

[trying to avoid]

The answers that come from the inside.

whispers...[You know what to do]

 "Let go of fear. Do what you love. Be You"

Some people say "I'm sorry that this has happened to you",

However, I believe they will eventually see 

"how fortunate for you".

A second chance, with a clearer view. 

An entire lifetime given to payback the world with my gratitude.

A Life lived to it’s ‘fullest’, has been ended,

To make room for a new life that was always intended.

Although the path is not always clear, 

the answers have been present for 

as long as I can remember.  

(Literally) Stumbling and Stuttering 

through the next steps, or how to even begin, 

I decided to make one simple commitment to myself,  

that is to reconnect and to share.  

That commitment has become become 

my journal (blog) and artwork. 

Although I currently spend my time healing... 

full time, I know that I am and 

will always be 'better for it', 

as it is in our darkest hours 

that we find our greatest strengths.

My life from this point will be lived 

with the hope and intention that 

through my actions, art, and practices 

others too will connect with 

their own inner guiding light, 

no matter how buried it may be.

Thank you for letting me share.

om shanti om

(peace)

Kate is an artist and yogini living in

central new york.  

You can go visit her HERE

and share with her what her story has 

meant to you.

it takes guts to share these stories 

and i cannot say how appreciative

i am to those of you that do.

i feel every step we take in dealing

we are aiding in our healing.

"we have to deal in order to heal"  

                               - me

THANK YOU!

ox

kolleen

say whaaaaaaaaaaaat wednesday?

here we are...

already wednesday again.

i just had a wonderful dinner

with this soul mama 

and am feeling a little tired!

so...

keeping my question light and easy today

especially after all the wonderful

insight and thoughts

with regard to "expectations"

to have...or not to have?!?!

(thank you all so much for your comments)

as any of you know that visit me

here in my little space...

i am an avid music lover

a MUSIC-AHOLIC, i would say.

music is theeee best therapy i have found

and i LOVE to seek out and find new stuff.

so...tell me

what is your favorite

pandora radio station or favorite

music to create too??

(many of my favs are on my playlist)

oxox

kolleen

monday music inspiration and stuff

HAPPY HAPPY MONDAY!

i hope you all had a wonderful weekend.

today i was going to attempt...

(attempt being the key word)

cleaning up this big ol' mess on

my studio table...

but instead....i decided to paint

more handmade journals for this shop

here where i live.

(so happy i was asked to make more!)

i felt this was a much better alternative

than cleaning....don't you?!?!

so... i painted happily 

while listening to this song.

ox

kolleen

I'M BETTER FOR IT FRIDAY

Happy Friday my friends.

Today my fellow blogger, scarf sister and friend Patty

will be sharing HER story.  

Her words, her photos, her "I'm Better For It".

In the summer of 2004, 

after teaching special ed. for 27 years, 

a friend and I came up with a plan.  

In my job I was constantly overwhelmed 

with student referrals - 

students who had not received early support for the difficult 

and complex task of learning to read 

and were now failing.

Our plan was one of prevention.  

If we could target and help students early enough, 

before they started struggling, 

we could save so much personal frustration and 

also potentially keep them from needing special ed., 

saving the system millions of dollars.

I poured my heart and soul into this project.  

Research… workshops… books.  

It felt like I had finally found what I was meant to do.  

I worked long hours, but didn't mind, because 

I had a goal and was finally using my skills 

in a way that could produce relatively 

quick and lasting results.

We tested all of the students in the school, 

set up intervention groups, trained parents and volunteers and worked closely with teachers.  

We shared our program ideas with others 

at workshops and conferences.

  Our test results showed significant improvement 

the first year out.

We wrote grants to help fund the program, 

but each year it was threatened by budget cuts.  

At the end of the third year, I was heartbroken 

when my position was eliminated, 

forcing me to move to another school.  

I started all over.   

After a lot of hard work, we were again able 

to show positive results at the new school. 

Reading scores were up and special ed. referrals were down.  

It was working!

Sadly, during this time, the CA state budget 

was in a shambles and in April 2009, 

I was told there was no money to continue the program 

or my position.  

I waited through the summer hoping that 

things would change, but instead of getting better, 

they only got worse.

Going back to special education felt like a 

backward move at that point,  so in August 2009,

 I submitted my paperwork for early retirement. 

Instead of feeling excited at this prospect, 

I was devastated.  

After all of the planning and groundwork 

to get this desperately needed program off the ground, 

it was simply going to vanish into thin air.  

There would be no more BLAST program and 

no more formalized early intervention.

I quickly realized how much of 

my identity and self-esteem had been tied to my work. 

No one said good-bye. 

There was no party to end my 32 years of teaching.  

No one called to wish me well.  

It was like I just walked out and evaporated 

(yes, insert a couple of pity parties right about here.) 

My hope was to pursue my creative interests, 

but I didn't know where to start.  

I cried the day the new schoolyear started and 

felt completely lost. 

The previous spring, I had stumbled upon an art retreat 

scheduled for October on the Oregon coast.  

I felt really drawn to this, but due to the uncertainty 

of my work situation, I hesitated, 

ending up on the waiting list.  

I completely forgot about it until I got an email 

in September about an opening.  

I almost talked myself out of it, but, t

hank goodness, I did decide to go!

The retreat was life-changing for me.  

It came when I needed it most and had a powerful impact.  Connecting with other, like-minded women 

gave me the courage to start a blog and 

to put some of my creative work out into the world.  

Eventually I started holding my own little retreats 

and am so excited to be guiding other women 

on their creative journeys.

I still miss parts of teaching, 

especially the students, 

but I am on a brand new path and it's OK.  

I have stayed connected with the women from the retreat 

and it has been pretty amazing.  

In fact, we just had a reunion!  

So, it’s not what I would have chosen… 

but, yes, 

I'M BETTER FOR IT!

Thank you so much Patty for sharing your story

here in my little space.  

You can visit Patty HERE

 where she shares much of her creative prowess 

through words and amazing photos.

And thank you everyone for

stopping by and taking the time to read

another wonderful story of how when

things don't go exactly as we planned....

there is another plan... and we can certainly

"BE BETTER FOR IT."

if you want to share...please

email me at:  kolleenharrison@mail.com

you never know how your story can help someone else.

ox

Kolleen

say whaaaaaaaat wednesday???

Happy first Wednesday of 2011

ya hoooooo!!!!

today’s question is something 
i have been struggling with, 
(for what seems),

all of my life.

SHOULD WE...OR SHOULD WE NOT 
HAVE EXPECTATIONS?

i have learned the hard way to NOT 
have expectations due to a sure bet

of being disappointed.  


however, i DO feel in life, 
certain areas warrant expectations.

  ie...relationships, customer service...
how our children behave 


(HA! HA! HA!...did the last one
make you laugh!!)

i feel there should be certain expectations 
we carry within relationships we have in our lives.

 Whether it is our marriage, friendships, 
family relationships, work relationships, etc...

however, how do we figure 
exactly what those expectations are....


since relationships involve someone other than yourself.   
(my expectations may be completely different 
from the others...)
and is it fair to put “my” expectations 
onto someone else??

anyone want to chime in??

i would love to hear your thoughts.

ox

kolleen

...some thoughts on a new year

as we welcome a new year

and say good-bye to an old...

i get mixed emotions.

it is bitter sweet.

to sit and draw upon all

that happened in one year.

to think about lessons learned...

the easy way and the not so easy way.

to recognize friendships made

and some broken. 

to mourn loved ones lost and 

celebrate loved ones gained.

to witness dreams realized and 

patiently waiting upon those still to be birthed.

it also can be SO exciting.

thinking about starting fresh,

having a clean slate, dreaming new...

writing down goals or resolutions

or in my case focusing upon

ONE WORD to really breathe life

into in 2011.

my choice for 2011 is

"SIMPLIFY".  

as i started to really think about 

what my word would be...

this one kept speaking to me

 louder and louder and louder.

i need to simplify in all areas of my life.

(starting with my closet!!!)

wishing you all 

BIG DREAMS COMING TRUE,

 MORE LOVE THAN 

YOU CAN STAND AND JOY ALL

THE WAY TO THE LAST NUMBER.

salute 2011

(newest member to my family.  

Wrigley born on 11/1/2010)

OX

Kolleen